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Stories of Abuse
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I Was Sexually Abused
My Escape From Bulimia
Raped At Age Sixteen
My life of Abortion, Alcohol, Drugs, a Cult Transformed


A CHANGED LIFE
I Was Sexually Abused
“I was just looking for acceptance and this was the only way I felt accepted.”

I was born into a family that was totally dysfunctional
in every way shape and form. My mom and my dad were serious alcoholics and abusive to each other. I believe that when I was born it was just for the pleasure of the moment. I grew up in Scotland. I don’t remember much of a happy life. My dad and my mom would drink and come home and tear each other apart. I was always in the way and they used me as a puppet. My father would pull me out of bed, my mother would fall asleep under the influence of alcohol, and my father would take advantage of me. His pleasure was to pull me out of bed, sit me on a hard chair, and torture me. I was mentally drained. I thought this would never end. His pleasure was to beat me with his army boots on. The stilts on his boots caused severe damage to my lower back. I’ve had so many blows to the head; it caused damage to my sight. Even to this day, I cannot see right. I’ve had two major operations. I wanted to die. I was looking for a way in my early days to run away only to find myself back home again. My punishment would be more torture. I used to hide in the closet so he would not know I was home, but he would find me and find excuses to get more drunk. The biggest blow to me that my own dad in his drunken state would sexually abuse me. I felt dirty and ashamed but I had no strength to fight back. This went on in my mind forever and ever. There is not one night that I could remember not being pulled out of bed and being abused.

I had a chance to run away like many days that I tried to run away, but this was different. On the street where I was walking and just walking with no plans and nowhere to go it just felt good to be free. Someone saw me walking in the rain that day and pulled over and asked me if I needed a ride. I was startled. I took the ride. He knew something was up, but he began to talk to me and he said, “I’m going to church and if you have no place to go, would you like to join me?” I said “yeah”. I found myself in a safe place where no one could hurt me, no one could beat me. I didn’t want to go home. I wanted to stay there. I felt safe. They talked about God. They talked about eternal life. They talked about no pain. It got my attention. I had nothing to lose. If Jesus was like these people, I felt safe. I found myself asking Jesus to heal my loneliness, to come into my heart, and be the dad that I never had.

Eventually I went home and never had a chance to go back to the church. My father realized that I was different now and put a stop to my having anything to do with Christianity. Out of fear I stayed away from church. Many years later when I was of age I was living in the sin of adultery and I fell into homosexuality. I was just looking for acceptance and this was the only way I felt accepted. I got a telephone call that my dad was dying and he wanted to see me, but I didn’t want to see him. I wanted him to die. That’s just the way I felt. Against my will, I found myself at the hospital, and there I saw my dad. It didn’t look like my dad. His kidneys had failed him and his liver was shot from the abuse of alcohol. I found myself at the foot of the bed face to face with my dad after so many years of bitterness. I was crying and my dad was crying. I was caught up in the moment. What do you say to a dying man? What I felt didn’t matter. This was different. Tears kept mounting up. He said, “Son, please forgive me. I truly love you.” It was so emotional. I had never seen him sober before, but he was a dying man. I just felt that maybe he was feeling guilty. I found myself in an awkward place, so I said, “ Dad, get some sleep now, I’ll see you later, but later never came. He died a few hours later.

The next day, we were making arrangements for his funeral. I met with the clergy who told us in the family just hours before I saw him that he wanted to see and talk to a clergyman. He repented of his sins and he had tears from his eyes and he asked Jesus to come into his life. I was told that his face changed and there was something different and I believe there was a reason why I had to be there at that time. I was living in my addiction, the gay life style. I was not happy. My life was messed up. My dad dies and he gets to go to Heaven. Bitter about life, I said, “This is not fair”. I was living in a relationship of the same sex for many years. I was not a happy camper. I felt this would last forever and my partner contracted AIDS, my worst nightmare. There were moments I looked back when I found myself talking to God. I never forget that time when I was younger and went to church and learned that God could help me.

After an eighteen-year homosexual relationship, my partner died. I thought this was the end of my life. Everything is gone now. What do I do? I found a comfort of drugs and alcohol to help cope, but nothing helped. I still had to wake up the next morning and those feelings were still there. I wanted to do away with my life. I took pills and alcohol but failed to take my own life. I kept pondering on “I’ve lost everything”, my job, my reputation, and what was left of my family. As I sat in my car, God quickened me to remember that moment long ago, the person in my early days who took me to church and told me about Jesus Christ. This was my only hope. I believe it was a God thing. Why not? I had nothing to lose. I’d lost everything anyway. I left my car, went up to my apartment and at that moment I pulled the telephone cord out of the wall, locked myself in the apartment and fell to my knees and was asking for help. I kept weeping and I kept weeping. There was a mighty battle going on. I felt satan and his demons and God and his angels fighting over my soul. I kept weeping, and then I began to feel a shifting. I saw Jesus; I saw a smile on His face. My hands went up to the hem of His garment. As I was holding on the helm of His garment the devil let go. Jesus embraced me, and I was free. I felt Jesus’ arms surrounding me. He said, “You’re home now, you belong to me!” In that moment, I was free from the bondage of homosexuality and any holds that the devil held me to. That part of my life is DEAD. And now I live because He lives in me. He is the answer. He is the way. He is the life. In Him I am complete. It is now ten years. I AM A FREE MAN! I HAVE MY IDENTITY! AND HE IS THE DAD THAT I NEVER HAD!

GOD HAS THE POWER TO CHANGE THINGS
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A CHANGED LIFE
My Escape From Bulemia
“I became an alcoholic, drug addict and a bulimic - all in efforts to cope...”

My name is Stephen Bennett. Throughout my entire childhood I felt I was different. Kids made fun of me in school - called me "faggot", "homo" and many other names. I was picked on, verbally abused, and even suffered physical violence on two occasions by other students because they thought I was "gay". There was a group of us students who were always picked on for a variety of reasons, including one being overweight, one being "super" smart, and one for stuttering. No one deserves this kind of mistreatment in school. As we all know, kids and teens can be just downright nasty.
Though I tried dating girls, in 1981 I gave into my life long homosexual feelings and in college I had my first "gay" experience with another student. After all those years, I finally "came out".

Within the next eleven years I became very promiscuous and was sexually with well over 100 men - many whom are dead today from AIDS. I played a daily Russian roulette with my numerous and careless sexual encounters. I did the "gay bar" thing for many years, and yes, I had my fun. I was even in love with another man and we lived happily together for several years.

But deep inside, the many sexual encounters and even "loving" homosexual relationships left me lonely and even more depressed. I became an alcoholic, drug addict and a bulimic - all in efforts to cope with my "unwanted" homosexuality. Deep inside, I really craved a family - a wife and children, but I knew it would never happen. I was told by the homosexual community "I was born that way" - and change was impossible. I believed them. One night, depressed and hating myself because of my homosexual lifestyle, I nearly died from a drug overdose. For me, it was clear my destructive, promiscuous, unfulfilled and "unchangeable" lifestyle only had one end - death. Of course, all homosexuals are not drug addicts, alcoholics, or bulimics. I was just truly messed up.

Today, over ten years later, I am happily married to a woman who knew me when I was single and a homosexual. We also have two beautiful little children - a boy and a girl. I am the happiest I have ever been - completely heterosexual. The drug addiction, alcoholism, and bulimia are gone as well. What happened?

I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. A person who cared enough to SHARE THE TRUTH WITH ME ABOUT HOMOSEXUALITY told me that GOD LOVED ME. She showed me in the Bible what God said about my homosexuality - THAT IT WAS SIN IN GOD'S EYES, AND THROUGH JESUS CHRIST, COMPLETE CHANGE WAS POSSIBLE! I never heard that before! No one ever told me I could really change!

All the lies I bought into throughout my entire life were gone! I didn't go to a special church, I didn't go through a program, it was not an "ex-gay" group that changed me - just my faith in Jesus Christ and belief in the Word of God. IT WAS THE TRUTH THAT SET ME FREE! Today, I no longer have homosexual thoughts, desires or actions. I really did change, and so have thousands of other men and women all around the world! YOU CAN COMPLETEY CHANGE!!

Because I care about you very much --- I want to share with you THE TRUTH:

1. NO ONE IS "BORN" GAY - for most, it all begins in the childhood. There are many root causes - some can be an early sexual experience, molestation or even broken relationships with family members (moms, dads, etc.)

2. GOD LOVES THE HOMOSEXUAL - YET HE HATES THE SIN - AND HOMOSEXUALITY WAS, IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE A SIN AND ABOMINATION IN GOD'S EYES - GOD WILL NEVER ACCEPT HOMOSEXUALITY - NO MATTER WHAT "OTHER" CHURCHES MAY TELL YOU.

3. THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFE IS ONE OF LONELINESS, SADNESS AND PAIN. Most homosexuals experience numerous sexual partners - very few find a partner for life. And even if they do - their relationship is NOT blessed by God, nor will it ever be - it goes completely against His perfect plan for mankind. Most homosexuals "play house" - one takes on the masculine role, one takes on the feminine. They "mimic" a heterosexual couple.

4. YOU KNOW DEEP IN YOUR HEART YOUR HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT RIGHT. If you were to be brutally honest with me, and share with me "your" story… I'm sure you would see very clearly why you traveled down the homosexual road. "Your" story would not be too different from all of the rest of ours. We were there - we know how you feel. We know what you've been through. You are not alone! We have been there, too!

5. THERE IS A WAY OUT OF HOMOSEXUALITY - PEOPLE CAN CHANGE - COMPLETELY! Don't buy into the deception of homosexuality. Believe me, you will never be "truly" happy. I know. You can be the man or woman God created you to be - You can be happy, heterosexual and completely fulfilled. THERE IS HOPE - THERE IS A WAY OUT! GOD WANTS YOU TO "COME OUT" OF HOMOSEXUALITY TODAY!

As someone who WAS a homosexual, I am here to tell you Jesus loves you, so do I … and COMPLETE change is truly possible! Make that choice and be who God wants you to REALLY be - today!

For further information about "COMING OUT" OF HOMOSEXUALITY, please visit Stephen at http://www.SBMinistries.org

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A CHANGED LIFE
Raped At Age Sixteen
“The Voice calling me was more powerful than the darkness pulling me down...”

As a young child I knew God. As I got older I drifted. I was raped at age sixteen. This incident caused the deep void in me to become even more obvious. I tried all I could to fill this void, drugs, guys, partying, etc., but nothing seemed to work and my smiling face when I was out would quickly turn to tears wept on an ugly dorm room floor the second I got home. My search reminds me of a scripture I was to later read: "Why do you go about so much changing your ways? You will be disappointed by Egypt as you were by Assyria. You will also leave that place with your hands on your head, for the Lord has rejected those you trust; you will not be helped by them." - Jeremiah 2:36-37. I can remember being high on coke and special K, pot, and alcohol and just out of it in my sin, and hearing a loud thundering voice question, "What are you doing?" Calling my name telling me to stop. Fear of God brought me out of a very risky place that night.

However, I still did not answer His call to me. God is so merciful. All throughout the Bible you hear stories of people, murderous evil people turning away and God luring them back to Himself.

It was at a point in my life, marriage problems, financial problems, a baby, that I could no longer handle the flashbacks from my rape experience, when God truly called out to me again. Before a flashback could enter my mind I would hear the name of Jesus! Jesus! Louder and louder and I could feel within me a fight (that I had no part in) to cease the torments within me. There is such power in His name!
Since that time I have completely given my life to God. He is my healer, my redeemer, my husband, lover of my soul, my best friend. If there is one thing I have learned it is we will never fully understand the love He has for us. Who but God would send His only son to die and go to hell until we were justified for us? And then raise Him from the dead that we one day will be raised up with Him?

To God, we are priceless. And to us, He is more than worthy of all our praise!
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of the sand. When I awake, I am still with you." - Psalm 139:13-18

GOD HAS THE POWER TO CHANGE THINGS
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A CHANGED LIFE
My life of Abortion, Alchohol, Drugs, a Cult Transformed
“Rape Victim Transformed; Free of all the Hurt, Shame, Guilt, and Walking a New Path...”

I was a substance abuser, I was raped, I had three abortions and was in a cult.
I was a liar, a cheater, a thief, and a deceiver. Then something happened that changed all of this. I received and accepted the truth of Jesus Christ into my heart more than 15 years ago. Now I am not involved in any of that stuff. No more drugs, cigarettes, and illicit sex. Now I am a servant of God. I no longer serve evil and my own selfish desires. THANK GOD I DID NOT STOP SEARCHING FOR THE TRUTH UNTIL I FOUND IT in the death, burial, and resurrection of the Lord of my life. Now I thank God and the Lord Jesus Christ all day for bringing me into a life of purpose worth living.

GOD HAS THE POWER TO CHANGE THINGS
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